rambling..

The thing about life is that it's complicated.  Sometimes it's simple, like the only things you have to do are getting up going to school or work eating three meals a day then going to bed just to wake up and start again. People have plans, even the ones who call themselves "free spirits". Even if you plan on doing nothing your still planning something. I wouldn't call myself a free spirit. I wake up everyday with nothing to do...but thats because im in a rut. I see life passing me by and i see myself getting into one horrible situation after another. and i do nothing to stop it. i never like to think of myself or analyze myself. in one simple sentence i can describe myself. I am a fuck up. Ive fucked up school, my credit, my parents trust in me. ive fucked up my whole entire life. for nothing. my dad made me cry the other day. said i was a narcasist and i never thought of or care for anyone but myself. and i can see how on one level that might be true. but ultimatly isnt the only person we're really responsible for is ourselves? The whole survival instict? it's a two way street i guess because life is never really your own.